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its raining again.
I need a job
I need my car
this is what it feels like to start over
I wish I knew how I did it before


Its wierd to be back here again... I try my best to stay out of peoples lives as much as possible so being back here is kinda scary lol


I dont Post here much but i should post for those faithful followers (lol )

*Blizzcon - Going there and Dizney
*Working at the college still (kinda fun)
*Issac Hayes passed away -.- shaft



Come here to Visit my Nursery

soon these lovelies will grow up to help me takeover ...uhm i mean make the world a better place ^^

Im also on gaia Online and back on world of warcraft
-if your interested in playing wow let me know i could use the referrals:P

anyways more soon (i guess)


So i sit here with tears in my eyes and something brewing that i dont like

i woke up

she was walking to the kitchen and there i saw him, sittign there. He said his name was pablo and he was the person she was seeing. He was sitting there in my house. and he was there to see her. i started bouncing.

she was in the kitchen.

He said she wanted him instead of me and thats why we broke up. i countinued to bounce. He said that she had wanted him for a while.that they talked online. that I was just a mistake.

she ignored me while she was in the kitchen.

i dragged him bck into the bedroom. My hand hit his face over and over and over. i felt so betrayed. I cant stop punching his face. i want him to go away.

she walks through the door and then i realize that she doesnt see me. I cant stop crying cause she doesnt see me. Even while im beating ths guys face in she doesnt care to see me.

then i wake up.



I dont have comfort. I dont have peace. and i dont have distraction

i dont have anything do i?

i can close my eyes and see her face as she just walks on by.

and she doesnt see me anymore.

I want to burn. to drown. to sleep, to anything to make me forget but i cant..anymore...i cant forget and i dont have anyone to really talk to. because im afraid of attaching myself to them.

because i want to be seen to one person who wont see me.

The countdown begins

Akon is 2 weeks away roughly

lets see what i have in order

Room: Check (and paid for already)
Ride: Check (The awesome Lee Hickman will be driving)
Money: As soon as it arrives in Check (my check)
Admission: Check (though i also signed up for volunteer)

Have i forgot anything??
updates so far

work - sucks but its money
life - great....no comment about the creeepy mall tour.

work - funfest and sammich
life - lonley today but in the end have friends see above about mall tour

Contest Time

Highest Score will get a actual physical Substantial Prize. (if shipping is involved you will have to pay shipping though)

Remember to screen your answers so people wont copy off of you!
(2 Points) My name:
(4 Points) My last name:
(4 Points) Who am I in love with:
(5 Points) Where did we meet:
(1 Points) Take a stab at my middle name:
(1 Points) where do i work:
(3 Points) what am i afraid of:
(1 Points) Do I smoke:
(2 Points) Do I drink:
(7 Point) Do I have any siblings:
(2 Points) How many?
(3 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do:
(1 Points) How many piercings do i have:
(1 Points) How many tattoos do i have:
(9 Points) What's my favorite type of music:
(5 Points) Am I shy or outgoing:
(3 Points) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
(2 Points) whats my favorite color:
(3 Points) name something i hate:
(4 Points) name a talent i have:
(4 Points) whats my phone number:
(4 Points) what kind of sneakers do i wear:
(4 Points) do i have any pets:
(1 Points) Who am i dating/likeing right now:
(1 Points) how long have i been dating/likeing them:
(5 points) how tall am i?
(5 Points) What is my worst habit:
(3 Points) What is my insecurity?:
(5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring?:
(10 bonus points) Complete this Quote "To make a long story short..."

86-100 Points; True Friend.
80-85 Points; Best Friend.
70-79 Points; Great Friend.
40-69 Points; Friend.
20-39 Points; You should hang out with me more! Ask Me when.
00-19 Points; Either you're a crappy friend or you're a new friend!

Wae-Oh Wae-OH

Missed a Update for yesterday becasue of personal feelings and work ...but lets try to keep this a weekly thing ^^ (means im off on weekends)

So in the news:

Blizzard announced today that BLIZZCon will be in august of this year. Price at the door will be $100 dollars per person. Yes you too can be a geek and play wow at a con about wow -.-

My new Guild On Wow has finally decided on a purpose...TO HELP PEOPLE..Holy Shit isnt that what we've been doing ALREADY??? FUCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! lol anyways yes we are NOW gonna help new players when we can and help our new players...(a concept) We are not nor ever WILL BE a HARDCORE raiding guild...but we will be a family and a Band of brothers (and sisters) who play and have fun...cause what would you rather have a group of people who are a team or a team which is a family? *shrug*

Looks like im going to japan finally...date is sometime between sept 5 and dec 25. We are getting passports ordered this weekend and im going to get trip plans for this trip and AKOn...(yup im announcing my plans to attend Akon..I decided i will learn to para para this year...that and attend demos and a few lesser events heheheheheh FUCK COSPLAY CONTEST BIOTCHES.....thats so ghetto.)


In life we make a bunch of choices and Investments. I make Investments in my future all the time. Especially when dating. Sometimes I make bad investments and along with those some very bad choices. Sometimes the investment is good but with a bad or failing payout.
I could go and complain about past stuff.. but seeing as almost EVeryone expects angst from me ..I wont....So fuck off!
In fact when i repost stuff from my past..Ill be leaving out all the relationship bs. Because i fucking can.
what about all of ya'll who do read my Lj? what Investments in life do you make and how do they pan out? Are you happy? Above all things you do in life ...you should be happy with the choices you make and afterwards when they end you should still be happy. If your not then maybe you should see why your not. Because the only person who can make you happy..is yourself. D
Tips: When making investments, dont put to much into it unless its a joint investment. If the Investment is minimal then when you have a good payoff its worth it. But if the investment fails, you should be able to walk away from it with little from the pocket. Dont Put your heart and soul into something unless you know that if it goes under you can stillc ome out ok. Risks are one thing but take minimal risks if youcan.


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May 2016


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